Deprived
by Handsome Awkward
Summary: Cuddy once had a husband and a daughter years ago...what'll happen when tragedy strikes and she's forced to face a past that she not only regrets but has desperately tried to forget? Dramatic and disturbing- you've been warned.
1. In the Essence of Time

A/N: New idea…. ENJOY

Disclaimer: Don't own

She awoke to a banging on the door. Her sheets were in a tangle and she fought them off her legs and torso. Grabbing her robe that hung up on the door of her bedroom she headed to the insistent knocking. Thinking it was House, she angrily pulled the door open only to become face to face with a cop.

"Um, Can I help you?" She blinked in confusion.

"Are you Lisa Cuddy?" The man asked professionally, looking down at the pad he was holding.

"Yes." She said, uncomfortably leaning against the frame of the door.

"Your husband was Daniel Arlington, right?"

Her uncomfortable stance changed into a tense one. She nodded curtly, "Yes, he _was _my husband."

The man finally looked up at her, "I don't mean to bring back old memories…but could you come with me?"

She frowned-- she hadn't even heard Daniel's name in five years, why was he being brought up again? Her tense stance quickly transformed into one of anger. Had she not been so upset she would have found it quite amusing that she could go from one emotion to another in record timing. She looked up into the cops green eyes and nodded.

"Can I get changed first?" She asked quietly.

"Sure." He nodded, standing awkwardly and shifting his feet slightly.

"Do you want to come in?-- it's pretty cold."

He nodded again and stepped inside.

She went to her room and rubbed her hands over her face, sifting her fingers through her hair as well. She entered her bathroom and headed straight for the sink. She splashed cold water over her face and was mildly disappointed that it didn't take away the nauseous feeling deep in her gut. She grabbed the skirt suit she was planning on wearing tomorrow-- well, today in a few hours-- and put it on as quickly as she could manage.

She took a brush to her hair, and put a bit of makeup on so she at least looked slightly suitable with the outfit. Frowning at her appearance she stepped out of the bathroom and walked slowly to her living room.

--

"Playing with the cat…" The cop said as Cuddy entered the living room.

"Yeah, she's sweet." Cuddy smiled, an entirely too big and too fake smile that was quite obviously not believable.

The man looked at her with sympathy and nodded toward the door for her to go first. She walked ahead of him and opened the door, waiting for him to go through.

--

"Hope you don't have a weak stomach." He said sadly.

She looked at him and almost rolled her eyes, "I'm a doctor."

"Yeah, well I'm a cop and I see more gruesome images than a doctor can even imagine." He said almost condescendingly.

"I think I can handle it." She informed him.

They walked into the crime scene and she wasn't impressed.

"So what is this? What am I supposed to be seeing? Did Daniel murder someone?" She asked in her usual superior manner.

"It's actually the other way around." Her eyes widened, "He was murdered in his own home." The man shook his head in disgust.

"You…you mean he was living h-here? For how long?" She practically yelled.

"I don't know, about five years…is that significant?" He asked curiously.

Her breath caught in her throat, the ground seemed to be tilting and she felt as if, in any second she was going to fall out.

"He…we…we had a daughter. She was two when he left…he just up and took her away, no note no nothing. She was two, only two and…"She felt tears well up in her eyes, --no, no she wasn't going to cry-- "We split up…he got angry and took her away. I just can't believe he was only downtown."

The man was shocked at the news, "You mean to tell me that there is a _kid _in all this?"

"Seven…she's seven now." She felt weak all of a sudden. "I never thought I'd see her again. I may be wrong in even thinking this but…is there any hope? Can you find her?"

"Until now, we didn't even know there was a child involved in all of this." He pushed her along with him gently into the house until they came to the kitchen. Her breath hitched and she felt another wave of nausea hit her.

"My God." She whispered.

Books were scattered everywhere, as if someone had taken a disliking to them and thrown them anywhere possible. It was a bloody mess. The body's were in black plastic bags and were so flat it seemed that they were practically beaten into jelly. Blood smattered the walls and floors, some drops and smears even got the ceiling. The first thing that came to her mind was a low budget horror film with way too much blood. But this was no horror film…the blood was real. She felt herself almost gag and turned her head away from the slaughtered mess.

She tried not to think about what was in front of her, but the smell…that iron-rotten-_dead_ smell. She shook her head in disgust and horror trying to shake the pain, sight and smell out.

The cop put a hand on her shoulder comfortingly and led her away from the mess. "That's not exactly what I wanted you to see."

"Not exactly what you wanted me to see? Then what... what the hell else is there?" She asked frantically.

"In here."

She followed him out of the study and into a white room. A large tub was in the middle of the room. An electric chair, the kind they used in prison, was sitting close to the wall, there was many torture devices hanging on the walls and the sight alone made a shiver travel it's way down Cuddy's spine.

"Do you know what this is?" He pointed toward the dark gray tub.

"A deprivation chamber." She said dismissively, still stairing at the whips and chains that covered the wall-- was her ex-husband into BDSM? The though made her want to throw up.

"A-- What?" He'd never heard of such a thing.

"It's a deprivation chamber. When you want your mind cleared without drugs you are put into this tub filled with purified water, you get in it- preferrably naked- and there is nothing to do- no outside forces or noises that can keep you from thinking, hence deprivation. Mostly therapists use it to keep their patients calm and help them cope with whatever was done to them."

Christopher nodded his comprehension and led her further into the room. He walked over toward the tank and pulled on the latch. "It's locked."

"No, it's not." She said and walked toward the tank as well. She unlatched it with ease and he looked at her surpised. She didn't take any notice to him. She stepped away and let him do what he needed. He stepped beside the tank again and pulled it up and open.

"Jesus." He gasped.

TBC


	2. Why?

AN: thanks for all the kind reviews.

disclaimer: dont own...

"_Jesus."_

"What?" Cuddy asked walking over. She almost lost the use of her legs at the sight.

The two just stared into the tank. A catheter was coming out of a young girls urethra and into a bag of urine. An IV was taped to the girl's hand with waterproof tape and her mouth was duct taped shut. Eyes closed the little girl had a look of…serenity?…on her face.

Cuddy reached out to grab her but Christopher grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She had the right mind to turn around and backhand him but she did as was told.

He whispered in a shocked voice- "Evidence."

"She's a little girl! She's only seven!" Cuddy yelled tears streaming down her face.

"She has to stay where she is until we get a picture of her and where she was." She knew she couldn't do anything about it but just standing back and watching as her child floated helplessly in the tank was too much. She turned around and ended up landing on her knees. She felt the throb of her joints hitting hard on the linoleum floor but thought nothing of it. Christopher yelled something incoherent- at least it was to her- to the cops in the front room and urgently came to her side.

Her head had landed in her hands and she was fighting off tears the best she could. His arm circled around her shoulders and he pulled her toward him.

"What?" One of the other cops yelled as he entered the room, "For God's sake Tambler we don't have time for your games!" He stopped short at the sight in front of him. "What is that?"

"A deprivation tank." Christopher said standing up. "According to her it's for peace."

The man looked at Christopher with a confused expression. "Is it to hard, Tambler, to speak in English every once in a while."

Christopher rolled his eyes at his boss' idiocy. "It's a place to forget everything."

"Like meditation."

"Sure. It helps the mind be open to different, broader, possibilities."

The man nodded.

Cuddy eventually was able to gain some pride and pull herself from her floor. "She needs to go to the hospital, if you have enough _evidence." _The venom in the last word was not lost on Christopher Tambler.

He looked on with sympathy and reached for her shoulder again. She shifted away- hardening her stance and walked to the tank where her one and only daughter lay.

"Like I said, she needs to be in a hospital." Her voice was stronger and more confident.

The two cops in the room nodded and took the pictures they needed of the room with the girl in it.

"Try not to touch anything but her." The other cop said disconnected from the emotional tension in the room.

Christopher gave him a tense glare. "Todd, shut up." He said quietly but angrily.

"Excuse me Tembler? I am your boss- you will not speak to me like that, If you ev-"

Cuddy cut off the two men, "Just both of you, shut up! I need to get _my daughter _to a hospital, and if any of you have issues with that then I will take it upon myself to get her there by _myself. I am not going to listen to this stupid argument while my daughter's life is at stake- we have no idea what kind of condition she's in. Now you two have your jobs to attend to and I have mine. If you won't cooperate then get out of my way." _

Once her rant was over she took a deep breath to calm herself. Turning around she looked at the damage in the tank. She bent down and pulled the tape gently off of the girl's mouth, removed the IV and catheter and pulled the girl up into her arms.

Christopher and Todd looked at each other and then at the small child in her arms.

Christopher was the first to clear his throat, "What's her name?"

"Natalie."

She turned and laid Natalie down on a flat surface before taking off her coat and putting it around her daughter. She picked her up again and headed out the door.

"Wait! Wait, I need you to take my number and when you're ready we can talk more in depth about this situation." Christopher said, quickly jotting down said number on a small bit of paper and handing it to her.

She nodded and made her way out to her car.

What the hell had Daniel done to this poor girl?

The thought made her throat constrict and the need to vomit came over her once again.

--

She entered the hospital through the emergency room doors, looking frantically for a stretcher. The fact that she was soaked due to the impromptu shower she just took and frozen to the bone had no effect on her whatsoever as she found what she was looking for and practically ran for it.

Once she got Natalie under the covers and into the most comfortable position she'd think possible she sat in the large chair beside the bed. She settled down slightly, not much, but from earlier it was an improvement.

Her mind was reeling and her blood had run cold. She couldn't believe all of this was hitting her again, she figured her daughter was gone for good- far, far away in Neverland. She never thought that someone could've killed her husband, yet she never believed someone would torture a seven year old.

Question after question kept her mind too busy to sleep.

Why was she in the tank? Was she being experimented on? Did her ex-husband really have the motive to torture his baby girl? What was he trying to prove? If the deprivation chamber involved in all of this was the electric chair? The torturing devices on the walls? Did someone else want her? Could she protect her? How was this all even possible?

And repeat.

She kept herself up for the rest of the night with the questions repeating themselves in her mind. Numbly watching nurses take her daughters blood, check her vitals, her pupils, and switch out her IV on the hour every hour. She did nothing but sit in the large burgundy chair staring and thinking.

"Dr. Cuddy?" Chase asked timidly as he entered the private ICU room.

She looked up slowly, darting her eyes back to her daughter to make sure she was okay.

"Phone call." She nodded and stood up, still staring at the little girl.

She finally looked at Chase, "Tell them to call my cell." She stated sitting back down.

He had no idea what her curiosity, or interest was in this little girl, but he said nothing, just nodded and left.

Even after he left she didn't have the energy or will to realize that she hadn't even given her number to him.

tbc


	3. Catatonic

_"_Dr. Cuddy." Her voice was broken, and quiet.

"Dr. Cuddy? Yes, this is Christopher, I was wondering if we could get together. We have a problem." The voice of the detective seemed superior and Cuddy felt anger build up toward him.

"What is the problem?" She asked, gaining a bit more confidence.

"I'd like to talk to you face to face, if that's okay."

"You can meet me at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, do you know where that is?"

"Yes, where do you want to meet me at?"

"My office. The Dean of Medicine's office." She said, feeling the need to throw the fact that she was far more important than he in there.

He caught on fast and nodded apprehensively. "I'll be there in an hour."

She sighed when she hung up her cell phone and looked down at the frail little girl under the hospital sheets. She felt so weak, and helpless…that was the one thing she absolutely hated, feeling helpless.

--

"Um, come in." She nearly shouted to the knock at her office door. Logging off of her name she looked up to see the detective come through.

"I'm not sure where to start, so I'm just going to dive right in." He said gently as he sat down in front of her desk. "It seems that Dr. Michaels was, in fact, running experiments on Natalie. We found several books having to do with genetics, behavioral modification, and several other titles that would give reasons as to why your daughter was in the deprivation tank."

Her mind wondered back to several hours before, the books strewn all over the floor and the bodies lying there. She frowned.

"We were wondering, I was wondering, if maybe you had any idea of what was going on?"

"Are you insinuating that I'm a suspect?" she said narrowing her eyes.

"I'm not insinuating but, how is it possible that you had no idea that your husband,-"

"Ex-husband." The venom in her voice was clear now.

"Right, Ex-husband, and your daughter were living merely blocks away."

She scoffed, practically climbed over the desk and punched him square in the mouth, "You have no right coming in here and accusing me of being an enabler to my daughter's abuse! I personally will not have you in my office coming up with these lies, this bullshit that you're throwing my-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Dr. Cuddy- I apologize. Really. It's just some basic questioning."

"You were accusing me-"

"No, you were taking it the wrong way…I was merely-"

"Do not back peddle your way out of this. I want you out of my office, out of my hospital, immediately." She was angry, obviously, but more than that she was deeply offended.

She stood up and was very nearly about to push him out of the hospital herself. She got him to the door when he turned around, "Someone is after her."

Dead in her tracks, Cuddy stopped and looked at him with worried eyes, "Who? Why?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

She tensed, "You mean you didn't want to throw accusations about me and my daughter?"

"No, I- someone is after her, someone dangerous."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" She asked timidly.

"Just watch yourself, watch everything you do, everywhere you go, anyone you see. Just watch."

His serious tone and stiff demeanor made Cuddy even more tense. She almost felt if a stiff wind came through it would knock her straight over.

She nodded and left her office just as quickly as she had came.

--

"Hey, baby? Come on sweetheart, please wake up for me." She pleaded in a whisper to the tiny girl under the sheets.

Natalie was still, quiet. It made Cuddy way too uneasy. "Please, please wake up."

A small moan came from the little girl. Cuddy's eyes widened. She got more comfortable and leaned over the bed.

Natalie's eyes fluttered open. She looked straight ahead, tiredly.

"Natalie?" Cuddy whispered grazing her fingertips over the little girl's cheek.

--

"You're here early."

"Actually I'm here really, really late." House said staring at his computer screen.

Thirteen came around to where he was sitting and looked at what he was staring at.

He caught her expression in the monitor and smirked. "I figured you would have learned from the first time not to look over my shoulder."

"I didn't think that computer was used only for porn."

"Well, it does come in handy in that department." He frowned and turned around, startling her. "What is it that you needed dear Hadley?"

"I was actually coming to check your email."

"Oh, so I do have another Cameron on my hands."

"Wanted to make sure you didn't miss something important."

"God, forbid."

He sighed and stood up from the desk. "How is our patient by the by?"

"She's stable." Thirteen sighed and took the warm chair he had been sitting in.

He nodded at her inability to hold a conversation and walked out of the room. She rolled her eyes and smirked.

--

"Heard you were here, waiting for your chance to steal a sick child?" House asked leisurely as he leaned against the wall of Natalie's room.

"Wow." She whispered, "I can't believe you just said that…"

"What?" He asked coming closer to her and the bed.

"Why don't you just go." She said sniffing.

"You're crying."

"Congratulations House, you've solved yet another mystery."

"Don't get condescending. What's going on?" He asked

"Nothing, now go." Her cold words had a slight effect on House as he stood there. He straightened up a bit and started to walk out of the room, "Why are you here at eight in the morning?"

"I'm supposed to be here at eight…right?"

"Nine, and even then you don't get here until eleven or twelve."

"I guess I should be getting home then." He said starting to leave again.

"Is it that bad?" She asked, her voice filled with concern.

"What?"

"The…wreck, your head…Wilson?" her timid approach made him feel awkward.

"I'm fine, Wilson will be fine…everything's fine."

"I haven't gotten to talk to you about it I just wanted to make sure-"

"If you're going to start digging up all this crap you might as well tell me who the girl is and why she's staring at the ceiling and why she didn't even look up when we were practically yelling and why you're here with her."

"That's a lot of why's."

"I'm a big fan of 'em, can't stand those bastards X and Z though."

She laughed softly at his dumb joke, and turned to her little girl yet again.

"Who is she?"

"It's nothing, she's no one- please, I'd really like to be alone."

"Yes, but you're not alone, your with her…um…" He pulled out her chart, "Natalie. Natalie Michaels. Who has trauma to the head, inflammation in the urethra and has been unconscious- that is known of- since presumably four o'clock this morning, when found." He looked at her.

"She was obviously found somewhere and brought in for further examination."

"I'm sure there is more than just head trauma going on here. She's not responsive."

"Which can be a part of head trauma."

"There are no contusions- otherwise it would say so in this magic little folder we call a chart. Her eyes are wide open and yet she's not looking at anything."

"So?"

"Let me take her."

"What?" Her voice hit a new high pitch.

"Let me take her, examine her and do….what's that called again? That thing…that thing I specialize in…oh right! Diagnose her."

"You think something else is wrong with her?"

"She seems to be in a catatonic state. I'm pretty sure it's a little more than bumping her head."

Cuddy nodded. House understood and turned in search for his team.

He turned around abruptly and looked at her.

She was about to question him when she saw the smirk painted on his face.

"She has your eyes."

TBC


	4. HIM

I'm not gonna lie, this is a weird chapter. Don't go running away just yet. Stick with me here...It'll fold out. I may even post two chapters in one night. GO ME!

_Death. It was spelled out in front of her in a myriad of neon bright colors. As she thought about it more she realized that whatever had spelled it out in her mind was trying to sugar coat it. Something terrible was going to happen. Death. Painful. Bloody. Dangerous._

_Something angry was after them. All of them. It wasn't trying to thin the herd by picking and choosing the unfortunate random. No, it was coming after a specific bunch. A very specific VIP bunch. But it wasn't going to just kill them it was going to devour them. _

_She felt an ice cold chill go right down to her shivering marrow._

Cuddy shot from her seat when she heard the blood curdling scream come from beside her.

"Natalie!?" She shouted practically tripping to her side.

Another scream made Cuddy almost tear up. She put her hand on the little girls' shoulder. Trying to shake her out of the nightmare.

"Please, Natalie, wake up!" She shouted over the girl throwing her fit.

Then just as abruptly the screaming had started, it stopped. Silence filled the room and Cuddy felt as if the sound of her heart pounding was on full out surround sound speakers.

Natalie's eyes opened and she finally, for the first time in three days- since she found her- focused on her mother.

Cuddy's eyes filled with tears once again and she let them fall. "Natalie." Came her whisper.

"Mommy." Her voice cracked and it was the first time since she was three that she had heard her talk.

Cuddy grabbed the back of Natalie's neck and held her close, as close as she could without smothering her. She laughed tearfully and hugged her even tighter.

"He's coming." She whispered almost inaudibly.

"What? Who's coming?"

"Him…" Cuddy's brow furrowed and she pulled back to look at her daughter. Her very sick, very deprived daughter.

"What is it?"

"He's going to…be here…soon…too soon." She was breathing hard, moving away, but Cuddy was too quick though and pulled her back toward her again.

"No. Natalie, I will not- ever- let anything happen to you." Her hand was raking through the almost black curls.

"Tell…Gregory House." She whispered, Cuddy couldn't hide her shock. She lay the girl down softly on the bed and backed away slowly. She opened the door and practically ran down the hall to House's office.

--

Fury burned in her eyes as she slammed open the door. House stood there, marker in hand staring at her, his team shrank back into their seats as they watched their boss's boss stare daggers with her hands on her hips.

"Did you talk to my daughter?" She asked warningly.

He cocked his head questionably and slowly put the cap back onto the marker.

"I asked you a question, _House."_ His name was said with disgust.

"I have not." He stated sitting the marker on the small shelf of the whiteboard. Written on the top in big bold letters were the words:

**BABY CUDDLES**

"Don't screw with me House! I'm not messing around."

"You've been glued to that child's side since she got here. I haven't spoken a word to her. I'm actually surprised she spoke to you….or did she? Am I mistaken?"

"She just woke up." Cuddy looked (_glared) _at him, "She told me to tell Gregory House that it's coming."

"Wow. I'm so glad you decided to barge into my office, yell at me, then spout riddles your half-dead daughter came up with."

A cloud of hurt flashed over Cuddy's face, but she let it slide. "Don't ever insult my intelligence…or my daughter's."

"Right. Because a seven year old is sooo smart."

She clenched her jaw. "Why is she calling you by name if you haven't been in her room?"

"Beats me. Ask her. If she's not still comatose."

"Well she sure wasn't when she called you by name."

"Clearly."

"You want a patient? You got one. Go in there and see what is wrong with my daughter."

--

He walked in Natalie's room and sat down in the chair beside her bed.

Cuddy was behind him and he looked pointedly at her. "Get out."

"Excuse me?" She asked glaring again.

"I didn't stutter." _(you used to) _"Get out."

She did as was told and left him to stare at the sleeping form of her daughter.

"Wake up." he said nudging the little girl.

"Hey! I said WAKE UP!" his cane clattered against the bars of the bed. Her eyes opened and widened.

"Didn't mean to scare you." She looked terrified.

"Who…"

"Gregory House. You summoned?"

Her confused look made him roll his eyes.

"He's coming for you." She whispered. "He knows where you are and he's coming."

House looked at her, annoyed. "Do you think I'm going to believe a seven year old who's telling me some boogeyman is coming after me."

"Remember Virginia? Remember the creeks…the squeaks…your sister?"

He swallowed, still holding his ground over the little girl.

"Remember the 'boogeyman'?"

"What are you trying to do?"

"Remember him? It? HIM?"

"Stop that." he said backing away.

"Are you scared? He wants you to be scared. He knows your fears."

"Who are you?"

"Who am I? I'm your worse fear. I'm in your nightmares. Every time you think you remember…every time you think you have a grasp on it…every time you think you know…you lose it. You lose it and you hate that. You hate not knowing, not figuring out the puzzle. You always have."

He took a deep breath and backed out of the room.

"It's not over! It'll never be over! You of all people should know that."

--

He swiftly moved to the elevators where Cuddy stopped him.

"What did you find out?"

"Nothing." He said pushing the elevator doors.

She grabbed his coat and pulled him away from the elevator doors that were now opening. He saw Wilson, Cameron, Chase, his new team…Foreman…He couldn't breathe.

"House?"

His head was spinning. _He was getting inside his mind…_

_It wasn't possible. It was over. Done. _

_The world was circling around him. He felt hot and cold at the same time. Sweat was heavy on his brow. He could feel the stinking drops run down his face and into his eyes. The side of his nose was itching. His leg was throbbing. His foot was aching. His hand was numb. His wrist panged. Voices…he heard voices._

"_House are you okay?" was one of them._

"_House?" Another one._

"_Hey." one more. _

_Thump. Thump. Thump…thump……thump……………..thump._

"_House!" _

_Floor. He was on the floor now. Lovely._


	5. What's going on?

I'm not sure I like this chapter...but I guess we'll see how it goes...

---

Cuddy watched in terror as House fell to the ground. "House?" She had to do something. Foreman, Cameron, Chase and Wilson all ran over while the new team of Thirteen, Taub, and Kutner stood perfectly still- in shock. House was out cold. Completely gone. She had to do something.

---

"House?" His name echoed.

"_Greg?" a more menacing voice forced itself into his ears. _

"Are you okay?" It was Cuddy. There was something cold on his forehead, cold and damp…damp like

_Like a gloved hand covered in melted snow. _

"House, wake up!" She was shaking his shoulders.

_Almost as if fingers were going to poke through his Beatles tee-shirt._

"Please…Get a stretcher! He's not responding." She sounded hopeless.

"_Under the bed is not a place for a seven year old boy… don't be scared. DON'T BE SCARED."_

"He's having a panic attack."

"_Get out from under there you little prick."_

"_Greg? Greggy!!!" a small (used to be annoying) voice came through the thin air._

"_Get out of here Kylie!" the angry voice yelled preoccupied, his fingers still digging into the hollow of his collarbone._

_The words choked in his throat. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move._

"_Greggy! This isn't funny." the little girl screeched. She came through the door way and stood still._

_He lipped the words 'get out' and she didn't understand…couldn't understand. _

_The man turned around and grabbed the small girl by her hair. She shrieked. _

_Let her go. "LET HER GO!!" please….let her go. _

"_I said get out of here!" He screamed throwing her against the wall. She sobbed, choking, and ran through the doorway. _

"_Don't you dare try anything, Gregory. I will get you out of there and it is going to hurt."_

_Greg blinked hard, then cringed when the man's hand gripped harder. _

_Let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let go let…go._

"Let what go? House! No one is touching you!" Cuddy stared in horror as House mumbled as if he was having a conversation in his head. "Greg! Please wake up." she slapped him across his face.

"_No one ever has to know, Greg." the menace said digging deeper in his collar bone. "No one ever has to know." His cold, gloved hand, slapped him hard making him cry out slightly. That same hand gripped a handful of his hair and yanked, pulling him only an inch. He pulled harder making Greg scream and slide out from under the bed. _

"_Good to have you with us Gregory." The familiar smile shown through the darkness. It was familiar but it was not comforting. The man's hand reached around his neck and squeezed. He squeezed until Greg lost consciousness. _

"He still has a pulse but I don't know for how long. We have to figure out what's wrong with him." Cuddy was on her knees pulling the top buttons loose of his oxford. Her two fingers were on his vitals while she had her head down next to his chest. He was gasping for breath and practically writhing away from her helping hands.

"House, please. Where is that damned stretcher?!" she yelled over her shoulder.

_He felt waves of nausea and darkness flow over him. He was on his hands and knees, underground. Where was Kylie?!_

_He had left her all alone. _

_Water was seeping in from the top of whatever he was contained in. It was like Chinese water torture…drip…drip….drip…drip…drip…it wouldn't stop. _

_There was so much he had to think about- he couldn't keep his thoughts straight. _

They hauled him onto the stretcher and quickly gave him oxygen. He was breathing erratically but he was still breathing.

"_Greggy!" came a scream. It seemed like miles and miles away. "Help!" Her voice was so small. He whimpered slightly, feeling helpless. _

_Don't…hurt her. Don't you dare hurt her. _

"_Come on Kylie." Another voice echoed. There was a long moment of silence. It seemed to go on forever and Greg could hear absolutely nothing but his own harsh breath._

_A long shriek broke through the silence and his head shot up, hitting the top of whatever he was in. He winced in pain and listened harder. _

_There came a crunch…a thud…then more silence. _

_----_

House let out a loud scream that startled the entire room. They were trying to push him to a room, somewhere to get tests and figure out what was going on. Cuddy jumped back at his voice.

His voice was strangled and he ripped the oxygen mask off his face. He fell from the stretcher and stood up, walking rather awkwardly away from the crowd. He was pulling his IV out of his hand and the heart monitor off his finger.

Cuddy noticed where he was going and practically ran toward him.

"What are you doing?"

When he didn't answer her only choice was to follow him. Everyone else watched his gaited movements toward Natalie's closed hospital room. He slammed open the door and grabbed her bed shaking it violently.

"How did you know!? How the FUCK could you have known!? Who are you?!" He was screaming. Cuddy's throat constricted slightly at his anger and she stood petrified.

An audience was gathering outside at the noises coming from the hospital room as House tried to wake up the sleeping girl.

"Wake up! WAKE UP!!!" He took her by the shoulders and shook her, less vigorously than the bed.

She opened her eyes wide.

"You remembered." She whispered.

There was silence.

"Do you remember?" She asked softly.

"Yes." He said weakly. His anger took over again, quickly, and he stood back up looking into her eyes with his patented glare. "How did you know?" he asked quietly but sternly. It scared Cuddy, how calm he became after that storm he had just performed.

Her eyes fell shut.

"Don't. Don't fall asleep. Wake up. Wake up!" Her eyes didn't flutter.

House exploded.

His hand reached for the first thing he could find.

Some sort of machine, he couldn't make it out, went flying through the glass--shattering the wall into tiny pieces.

Cuddy's hands were over her ears as she watched, unmoving, the EKG machine being thrown by the angriest House she had ever seen.

Once she found her voice the crowd outside had grown and they were all silent, House was panting with exertion, his arm bleeding profusely from a cut, "House…what the hell his going on?" She whispered in a shaky voice.

His jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together, his hands were in a vice grip on the side of Natalie's bed.

Cuddy walked closer and put her hand on his shoulder. He jerked it away, about to shake the bed again, but Cuddy gripped his shoulder once again. He didn't pull away this time. Just relaxed into her hand.

"House," She whispered, "What is going on?"

He shook his head and pointed it toward the door.

She looked over and noticed the large crowd outside, murmuring and whispering.

She grabbed his forearm and let him get up before she pulled him toward the door. They passed the crowd and headed straight for the elevator.

Once they entered her office she sat House down on the couch in the middle of the room and pulled one of the chairs from in front of her desk and sat it down in front of him.

"Will you please tell me what just happened?" She asked after a moment's hesitation.

He just looked at her. And she must have been mistaken at what she saw there.

Fear.


	6. A Joke

Fear.

That's what the unmistakable look in the infamous Dr. Gregory House's eyes was. He was scared of something. Angry, sure. She had seen that. But she had never seen him scared. And it _scared _her to see him like that.

"What. Is. Going. On?" She asked slowly. Sure of herself. Sure that she wanted to know.

He shook his head.

He tried to tell her. Tried to tell her that she didn't want to know, that she didn't need to know. That it was none of her business. That she wouldn't believe him, that she would hate him. Everything that he wanted to tell her fell short, in his throat. Constricted.

He felt so constricted.

So hot.

So cold.

So angry.

So…so…_scared. _

That little girl, Natalie. Natalie, Lisa's daughter. Natalie got into his head. She knew. She knew everything. None of it made any kind of sense. She was a baby and she knew everything.

House shook his head again. Trying so hard to just forget all of this. To lighten the mood and pretend that everything was okay. But it wasn't. Nothing…absolutely nothing is okay.

"Greg. Please." Her voice was small. She was scared too.

Of him? He didn't know. He was pretty sure that the entire hospital probably thought he was a lunatic, but…he didn't care. All he cared about was getting the truth out of the comatose child that lay in that room.

When he went to stand up again, Cuddy grabbed his arm.

"I need to talk to Natalie." He said slowly, quietly.

"About what? What is all of this?"

"I can't…I can't explain it." he said simply, as if defeated. "I need to talk to her."

Cuddy nodded. "Don't yell at her. Okay? She's been through enough." She stated sternly.

House let out an audible scoff at that, and headed his way to the girls room.

Most of the crowd had dispersed by the time he got there and the crowd that remained was eager to move out of his way as they saw him come toward them. They pretended as if nothing happened.

He went into Natalie's room and he sat down by her bed. He waited. For what seemed like hours.

She finally looked over at him, confused.

"Who?""Let me stop you right there." he stated angrily, "What the hell are you?" He asked solemnly.

She was still confused.

He was getting pissed.

"'It, him' remember? Don't tell me you don't because you do, you know something and I'll be damned if I sit here and let you forget what you just did to me." he said quickly, his words running together.

"Did?" She asked, dumbly.

He felt defeated. Nausea whirled in his gut, and he was lightheaded again.

_It's not as if you don't remember yourself. _

"What are you?" He asked again, practically yelling into the poor child's face.

She didn't respond.

"No, don't…don't go back to sleep. Don't!" He begged her. He'd find himself pathetic if it were any other time but right now he didn't give a God damn about his pride. He just wanted to know what was happening.

_Think about it Greggy. Remember what you did?_

He could taste the bile rising into his throat.

"WAKE UP! Damn it. Please!"

_Cold hands. Not hands….things. Cold things. Kylie. HIM. _

"I'm begging here. I don't beg, child. Please, just tell me what you know. How? Please."

"I know." She mumbled. "I know your innermost thoughts."

He went silent. Completely silent. He stopped breathing and just waited.

"I know that you are remembering. But what you remember isn't real. He's after you. He will get you. You can't run." She said slowly.

"Who is after me?" He asked patiently when she didn't continue.

"You know who. You know." She repeated it. "You know." over and over again. Until House grabbed her chin and jerked her head toward his.

"I. KNOW. WHAT?" he was getting angry again. He was getting downright livid.

"You know. You know."

He swallowed the lump in his throat and let go of Natalie's face. No one was around. No one near him. He knew that Cuddy was outside but he didn't think about it. He was completely unaware. He felt alone.

_Think about it. Remember? You were alone in the dirt. Buried deep underground. But not that deep. When you're a kid you over exaggerate everything. But you were buried. You clawed to get free. No one found you for twenty-four hours. Remember? Twenty-four hours of solitude. Cold. Cold. I know you remember the cold. And the crushing sound. You know that it was your sister. You know. _

_He couldn't hold it any longer. He fell into the trashcan as he threw everything that he ate from the day up. _

"_Just remember." She whispered from the hospital bed. "You got away once. Not again. There is no getting away again." _

_House just looked at her. He sat there, wiping his mouth, staring at this child who had more knowledge than she should. Who could make these things happen to him. Who could possibly destroy him. _

"_He's going to devour you." she said even quieter than before. _

_House's eyes widened and he had to leave. He felt suffocated. He had to go. Had to go anywhere but this room. _

_He lifted himself up and stumbled through sliding doors, past the curious nurses, and into his office. He closed the blinds, locked both doors and sat in the middle of the room. On the floor. In the dark and silent room, he waited. _

_00000000000000_

_Cuddy was confused. She was confused and horrified. She didn't know how to approach this. Hell, who would? _

_When she went into Natalie's room she was awake. Sitting up. It warmed her heart a small bit to see her child looking at least slightly healthy. _

"_Hey honey." Cuddy smiled, as comforting as she possibly could. Though she didn't know how she mustered it, with the fear running through her veins. "How are you feeling?" _

_The girl looked at her confused. "Who are you?" She asked slowly, making Cuddy's heart break. _

"_I'm your mother, sweetie." She said sitting beside her and grabbing her hand gently. _

_Natalie just looked confused. She didn't say anything more. _

_Cuddy pushed a strand of brown hair behind the small child's ear and smiled at her reassuringly. "I'm here, baby, I'm not going to let anything hurt you anymore, okay?"_

_The child didn't hear her. She was looking right at her and she didn't respond. That was the only conclusion Cuddy could come up with, she didn't hear her._

"_I'm here. Okay? I'm here for you." _

_Natalie nodded. "Okay." She whispered. _

_A tear fell from Cuddy's eye as she watched her daughter fall back to sleep. She wanted things to go back to normal. Wanted to know what was happening. Wanted to get either House or her daughter to talk about what was going on. She needed to know. She had to. _

_00000_

_Wilson quietly knocked on House's office door. Waiting patiently. He wasn't there when the whole episode took place and he was certainly curious as to what was going on. The lights were off, so he didn't know what to expect. _

_He would give him a few more seconds. _

_He knocked again. _

_The door creaked open slowly and Wilson came in to see House hunched over slightly, like the time when had given himself a migraine. Only this time he didn't know what was ailing the man. _

"_What happened? I heard from the nurses that you had a seizure or something." Wilson asked cautiously. _

"_I…I'm going to die." He said quietly. So quiet that Wilson almost didn't hear him. _

"_What?" He asked, shocked, completely taken off guard. That was not what he was expecting to hear. _

"_Memories." He shook his head as if to get rid of the horrid thoughts flowing through his mind. _

"_Memories? What do memories have to do with your death? Did you take something?" _

_House looked exhausted. Too exhausted to even answer his question, evidently. He said nothing. He didn't move. _

"_House? What are you talking about?" _

" _I don't know." He stated, frustrated. With Wilson, with himself. With everything. He sighed, defeated once again, "I don't know." _

_Wilson looked concerned. He leaned forward to put a hand on House's shoulder. As if to comfort him. House shifted away from him violently. He almost fell over, he moved so quickly. _

"_House. Please, just tell me what's going on." _

_House didn't answer. _

_He fell. Again. His mind was reeling. Again. He was unconscious. Again. _

_Wilson ran to his side, checking for a pulse. Screaming his name. Trying to get him to wake up. To stop joking around. As if it were a joke. _

_He wished. Oh, God, he wished this were a joke. _


End file.
